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Sister Helen IV

by Sister Helen

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1.
Smoke 00:44
2.
Spark! 02:09
you would think i’d learn my heart is hot and dry, at risk of fire you would think i’d turned my mind into a pile of tangled wires you would think that i would think before i ever think again, but even when my mind is dark static in my soul will light the spark friend, help me to come down gently oh my God, help me to come down gently friend, only you can prevent me (oh my God,) only you can prevent me
3.
on the last night before the storm, i had no idea at all i thought that i saw you laughing i guess that was all that i saw this is the first day after the storm and everything is wet through and through and if this ain’t gonna be the last time what will you do? for your mental health, exchange your sense of self (so what? so what? not much, not much) i don’t know what to say, i want you to be okay (so much, so much, now what? now what?) and if you didn’t see me around i was somewhere safe and warm i was somewhere you couldn’t get to taking shelter from the storm and was that really all i could do? as if i could live with the doubt you were treading in the deepest waters, could i pull you out? for your mental health, exchange your sense of self (so what? so what? not much, not much) i don’t know what to say, i want you to be okay (so much, so much, now what? now what?) here in the eye of the storm you are almost sane eyes like a rainbow caught up in the twisting rain if you knew how to swim back to the shoreline then we could rebuild, it would just be destroyed again even in the eye of the storm i couldn’t hold you in the calm painted a rainbow onto your lips and a secret under your tongue the minute that you washed away felt like a century to overcome turning the wheel of your ship in a bell jar for your mental health, exchange your sense of self (so what? so what? not much, so what?) i don’t know what to say, i want you to be okay, (so much, so much, so much)
4.
there are two colors in my eyes blue and green green when i look at you and blue is me i got you on my mind now what would you do? i know what i should have done but i'm not you so i don't want to know you now I don't want to know I don't want you to find out i got you on my mind now all of the time and when you're on my mind it's like it isn't mine so i won't be compared to you and come up short again i don't want to know you now i don’t want to know and i don’t want to see you now like a twisted mirror everything that’s wrong with me shows up crystal clear so i don’t want to know you now and i don’t want you to find out
5.
Fictive Kin 05:30
my name is Henery the Eighth, i am that i am Napoleon XV, no relation i come in peace, i come and go as i please, i come to change the conversation A man’s own fortress is the place where every portrait has his face good morning, gorgeous in disgrace My name is Henery the Eighth, i am that i am the last King of Scotland, Idi Amin i’m not joking, i’m Shogun of all Japan, can you see me? a demon eating ramen a man’s own fortress, paper-thin to keep his torture chambers in home and alone with myself; such an addictive sin i’m looking after the health of one of my fictive kin (it’s a family affair, it’s a family affair) i AM A ViNDiCTiVE MAN DON’T MESS WiTH MY FiCTiVE KiN i AM A PROTECTiVE MAN DON’T QUESTiON MY FiCTiVE KiN i AM A SELECTiVE MAN RARiFY MY FiCTiVE KiN VERY iNTROSPECTiVE MAN CARE OF ALL MY FiCTiVE KiN sun sinks back down behind the buildings light shoots from the ground to the penthouse floor every day feels like trouble every day seems like it's happened before but you talk like you've still got pride you talk like your words still mean anything i think you came here to hide i think you came here to get away every day feels like trouble every day seems like it's happened before every day feels like trouble every day seems like it’ll happen again my name is Henery the Eighth, i am that i am that i am that i am and no relation i am a self that relates itself to itself and itself is no relation
6.
Friend 05:04
when you watch your brother bleed for once it's no use to pretend and now that the hour of need is come it's never going to end when i think about it i am lost again because the stakes were higher than they'd ever been what could we do for him? what could any of us do for him now that the hour of need is come it's never going to end don't flatter yourself that you've earned this (you'll tear yourself apart-) we have to call him friend (-without me, I'm biding my time) no matter how helpless concern is (you'll fall apart with or-) we have to call him friend (-without me, I'm biting my tongue) again and again though your failure's guaranteed it's time, you have to call him friend cos now that the hour of need is come it's never going to end and when i think about it i am lost again because the stakes were higher and they've always been what could we do for him? what could any of us do for him now that the hour of need is come it's never going to end don't flatter yourself that you've earned this (you'll tear yourself apart-) we have to call him friend (-without me, I'm biding my time) no matter how helpless concern is (you'll fall apart with or-) we have to call him friend (-without me, I'm biting my tongue) again and again
7.
Kaross Music 06:55
i get too scared to look at faces it's all right it's all right i think, what am i going to say to them? it's all right it's all right you wear these skins against the world how do you keep them in one piece you wear these skins against your skin how are you keeping in one piece pieced together, sewn together, thrown together hold together, hold together, hold together i want you under my blanket it's all right it's all right because i can't make my mind go blank yet it's all right it's all right you try to hide forget the world but it won't let you sleep in peace you wear these hides against the world how do you keep them in one piece neither wear nor tear neither fish nor fowl hold together neither hide nor hair neither horn nor howl hold together all your gathered threads like a felted tent hold together things you never said but you felt or meant hold together when the wind is sharp and the night is cold hold together i am at your side i am at your side i am at your side hold together
8.
Draw Near 04:34
i got a message for you when it’s quiet i got the lightning and fog in my throat i got a box with the key locked inside it genius plan in a idiot code my friend, i doubt if you can hear me i said hands out if you can hear me is my signal blocked? i’m a war machine under quarantine i’m shell shocked is my signal clear? i’m a friend in need but i’m hard to read so draw near i got a world in my head and it’s empty i got the chance to be God and alone why do you think that the power should tempt me what do i want with a mind of my own? if this world ends the way i’ve planned it my friend i want you on my planet if my signal clips i’m a friend in need i’m a mouth to feed read my lips if my signal dies then unless you’ve guessed it’s an S O S it’s goodbye now that things are quiet i fall silent i deny that i’ve cried out in fear you think we’re alone here hold the phone here to my wrong ear i will strain to hear now you are a doctor now a helicopter now you are a condor hovering in clouds now i am a patient now i am a spaceship monster in the basement if you’re gonna say shit, say it loud i get a desperate hope when you draw near i get a sight of the sound and the strong i have been trying to tell you this all year but there is a demon that sits on my tongue and when it comes i can feel it returning it’s in my lungs and i’m screaming it out and when i wake up and it’s three in the morning Who will i tell what the dream was about?
9.
Commonplace 05:53
you always see them; people i’ve learned to ignore the ones i don’t question ‘cos they’re not mine to answer for people who look like me, people i look right through, you can just feel them and you feel them looking at you sometimes they speak their minds and their minds are all fucked up and sad carry it with you, you get shaky, get sharp, you get mad the time has come to choose to fight or let it spread they haunt the words we use, they slip into our heads they’re stupid but they’re loud, they’re many but they’re wrong they slip into the crowd, they’ve been there all along unguided i am blind, i just see the disguise the truth is there to find if i look through your eyes i want to stare it in its face, you tell me that it’s commonplace, but that don’t make it right however they justify, i don’t wanna know, i don’t wanna know, whatever they glorify, i don’t wanna know, i don’t wanna know, whatever they put you through, shocked i didn’t know, shocked i didn’t know, whatever they want from you, shocked i didn’t know, shocked i didn’t know whatever you wanna say, of course i want to know, of course i want to know, what’s a friend, anyway? of course i want to know, of course i want to know of course i want to know, of course i am afraid our bones ache as we grow, our innocence betrayed my innocence was guilt, a washing of the hands unfeeling what you felt ungrounding where you stand i know it’s my mistake now i am clearer-eyed whatever it may take, i will be on your side i want to stare it in its face, you tell me that it’s commonplace, but that don’t make it right
10.
Smoke Rises 01:10
friend, defend me oh, God, help me though i’m not who you thought friend, prevent me: i’ll come down gently, gentle soul, with no control control me, console me, control me, console me,
11.
Forest Fire 04:41
i’m a forest fire in brightest summertime, i’m so sorry you’ve come to this mind of mine forest fires they fight in summertime i’m so sorry you’ve come to this mind of mine now you know what i crave about you: this is how i behave without you no don’t look at me now why would i want you to see how i am why should you give a damn? i’m a forest fire in brightest summertime, (I'm so sorry you've come to this mind of mine) shine on, sun, it’s none of your concern when i’m this hot something’s got to burn for your mental health, exchange your sense of self, so what? (so what?) not much (Not much) if they treat this like you treat me i can beat this easily the worst thing i can think of is to always be alone so you burn the walls around me down and tell me welcome home but you say you think i’ll like it can you feel the flame it feeds? while you bide your time it's running out when you bite your tongue it bleeds it’s the worst thing i can think of i’m deprived of privacy i can never really think because you’re always here with me where’s there’s smoke there must be fire, where there’s fire you are near not a tree falls in the forest when there’s no one to hear now you know what i crave about you: this is how i behave without you No don’t look away now Why should i care if you see how i am Why should i give a damn?
12.
tried to write you a happy ending wave goodbye tried to blow you a farewell kiss tried to give it a sense of meaning don't know why all i thought of to say was: when you've done what you chose to do and nothing else is required of you you're left alone with the words in your head don't ask me if you're doing fine i'm a phantom of your mind i'm the principle of the life that you've led: you don't have to love your neighbor you don’t have to share his labor you don't ever have to care, no, if you walk the straight and narrow way away the ones who knew you enough to speak the ones who saw you when you were weak their voices silent but you know what they'd say the ones you see when you try to sleep the ones you thought you'd keep Well we all need rest at the end of the day (there's no one left to wave goodbye to) (you are the last man standing, take your prize look all around at their unblinking eyes) there's no one to forgive you there is nothing to forgive do you think i’d be fucking leaving if I knew you were still going to need me? do you think i would go believing me and you could ever wrap this up neatly? some of the endings to my nightmares feel more fair than real life ever turns out some of the angels of my nightmares try too hard party’s over turn the lights out

about

We were Sister Helen for 14 years.

From age 10 til right before our 25th birthdays.

We made this album knowing that we would be broken up by the time it was released, that our decade and a half partnership would be over.

To everyone who stood by us, whether it was for 14 years or 6 months or however long- we can't thank you enough.

This is an album about friendship, and about reconciling hopelessness.

We hope you like it, and we thank you for being our friends.

credits

released January 13, 2017

Sister Helen is:

Nathan J. Campbell- Vocals
Chris Krasnow- Guitar/Vocals
Eva Lawitts- Bass/Vocals
Clint Mobley- Drums

All Songs written and performed by Sister Helen
Album Art by Alex Carlbon
Recorded, Engineered, Mixed and Mastered by Chris Krasnow

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Sister Helen New York, New York

2003-2017

Sister Helen was:

Nathan J. Campbell- Vocals

Chris Krasnow- Guitar/Vocals

Eva Lawitts- Bass/Vocals

Clint Mobley- Drums
... more

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